Let’s talk about DIEP flap surgery. Or, more accurately, let’s talk about what DIEP is not, because there seems to be a fair amount of confusion, especially when people hear that it involves the removal of fat from the abdomen.

First and foremost, DIEP (Deep Inferior Epigastric Perforator) flap surgery is not a tummy tuck. I repeat: not a tummy tuck. No one comes out of this surgery with a six-pack or a magically sculpted waistline. If anything, you’re waking up with surgical drains, abdominal discomfort that makes you question every life choice, and a chest that is still healing from being, you know, completely rebuilt. The goal here isn’t aesthetic perfection, it’s reconstruction after a mastectomy.

And for me, the big day is March 18th. That’s when I go back under the knife for my reconstruction. Not just to create a new breast using my own tissue, but also for one final scraping because we’re making damn sure there’s no cancer left hanging around in there. If you think I’m going through all this just for a flatter stomach, I promise you, I’d rather be on a beach somewhere with a cocktail and a fluffy tummy instead of prepping for a surgery that’s going to make me feel like I got hit by a truck.

The wait for this surgery hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park, either. I had to wait six months to get in the operating room with one of the best DIEP surgeons in St. Louis. When you’re putting your body through this level of reconstruction, you don’t want just anyone doing the cutting and stitching. And he was worth the wait. Even as my body decided to start rejecting my expanders during that wait, (because why would anything go smoothly?), I knew holding out for the best surgeon was the right call. If I’m going to be sliced open and rearranged, I want it done by the best, period.

So, what is DIEP anyway? It’s a sophisticated type of breast reconstruction where skin, fat, and blood vessels from the lower abdomen are used to rebuild the breast, after a mastectomy. Unlike older methods that involve taking muscle (hello, TRAM flap), DIEP preserves the abdominal muscles, which means you can still do sit-ups later, if that’s your thing. The trade-off? It’s a long and complex surgery, requiring highly skilled microsurgeons to reconnect tiny blood vessels so the new breast tissue doesn’t throw a tantrum and die. Oh, and let’s not forget the delightful recovery process, which includes walking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame for a bit, being terrified to sneeze, cough, or even breathe too hard, and developing an intimate relationship with compression garments that feel like medieval torture devices. I’m looking at you, Spanx!

And let’s talk about the recovery right quick, because if you think this is like getting a boob job and a tummy tuck in one, buckle the fuck up, buttercup. Imagine getting your stomach sliced open and then sewn back together, except now a bunch of tiny blood vessels in your chest have to stay alive or the whole thing fails. You can’t stand up straight for days, laughing hurts like hell, and rolling over in bed? Forget it. You will develop ninja-level strategy skills just to reach for your damn phone without feeling like you’re being stabbed. Oh, and those surgical drains? They have to be emptied. By you. Regularly. Because nothing says “glamorous makeover” like measuring your own bodily fluids every few hours.

This is not some sneaky two-for-one deal where you get cancer reconstruction and a flat stomach either. Sure, there’s an aesthetic bonus in that the lower belly fat is gone, but if you think this is a shortcut to an hourglass waistline, I hate to break it to you but you’re going to be sorely disappointed. DIEP is designed with functionality first, ensuring blood flow, maintaining strength, and creating a breast that, you know, actually feels like a breast. It’s not about achieving a swimsuit body at all. And if it were, I’d be asking for a full body makeover while I’m at it.

The key thing to remember here is that DIEP is not about aesthetics—it’s about healthy tissue transfer. The entire purpose of this surgery is to move viable, living tissue to reconstruct a breast in the most natural and sustainable way possible. Implants are foreign objects that your body may reject or require replacement over time, but DIEP uses your own tissue, meaning it adapts, grows, and ages with you. That’s the beauty of it too, not that it alters the way your abdomen looks, but that it provides a living, breathing solution for breast reconstruction that actually works with your body instead of against it.

This isn’t vanity surgery. This is medicine. This is science. This is taking back control after cancer and using what’s already yours to build something new. The focus isn’t on making things ‘prettier’, it’s on making things functional, and ensuring a stable, healthy reconstruction that will stand the test of time.

The bottom line: DIEP is life-changing, but not because it gifts you a free tummy tuck. It’s an incredible option for breast reconstruction, offering a natural look and feel without sacrificing muscle integrity. But let’s be real, anyone signing up for this thinking they’re walking out with a celebrity-style “mommy makeover” is in for a very rude awakening. It’s reconstruction, it’s major surgery, and if you go in thinking it’s a shortcut to a flatter stomach, you might as well sign up for a reality check while you’re at it.

So, if you ever hear someone casually equating DIEP flap surgery to a tummy tuck, please, do me a favor, educate them. Or just send them my way, and I’ll set the record straight. With diagrams, if necessary. And maybe a well-placed “what the actual fuck” if they need extra convincing.